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Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
