Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
