they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize