bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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