I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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