if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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