my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
