you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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