you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How external is "for external use only"?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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