Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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