I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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