U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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