I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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