Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
