i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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