Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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