why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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