whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
