Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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