I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
