The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I could fuck to npr.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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