That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
