hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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