I'm lost and stupid without you.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
