you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
