im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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