dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
