that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We are all done wearing pants today
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
