I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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