Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
