He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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