Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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