There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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