i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
