When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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