She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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