that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
