If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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