I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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