She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
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