YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
