She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
