Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
