she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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