im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
