so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
