If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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