I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
