so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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