Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize