I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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