you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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