im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
