Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
...so i touched it.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
