just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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