My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
