I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
