I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize