i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
