so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
